This is a great discussion between Brother Wayne Teasdale (author of The Mystic Heart) and Ken Wilber. In part 1 they talk about how we relate to the Supreme Identity (God, or Buddha nature if you prefer).
The journey to union involves an experience of “extreme desolation” or a dark night of the soul which follows a glimpse of heaven (or the true nature of reality as One). The dark night happens because the divine withdraws in order to force the self-will to dissolve. As Meister Eckhart said:
“For God to get in the creature must get out.”
In other words, the ego or false self must go. All your little projects and ideas about how you want to live your life have to go if you want enlightenment.
Can you even say, “I want enlightenment”?!